Remembering You And The Life You Really Lived

An open letter to my favorite uncle who passed away two years ago, and who I miss dearly

I don’t feel sad as much as I thought I would everytime I remember you.  Because of my distance to the places we shared I can pretend most of the time that you’re just there, far away, so I don’t see you often.  I can act like you’re still living the life you always led, happy and content with the simplest things life has to offer.  But during the times I realize I will never see you again my heart breaks like it would never truly heal.  Even if I know I have given you all my love I still wish we had been given more time.

Even if I know you knew I loved you like my own father, and still do, I still wish we had been given more time.  More time to do the things we used to do.  I miss shooting with you.  I miss drinking alcohol with you.  I miss eating my favorite dishes that you prepare especially for me.  I miss everything about you.  Though we never had serious talks about life, I will never forget that you were there when I most needed you.  During the time when I thought I had no one, I had you.  When I felt I was alone and no one believed in me, your faith never wavered.  You believed in me when no one would.  You held strong, and just believed without any need for evidence or reason.

Maybe if you hadn’t been so full of life and mischief I will not hurt so much.  But your eyes were always twinkling with random tricks, your mouth always curved in that knowing smile.

I spent entire summers in your house and I felt home.  I remember we would sit outside and you’d teach me to yell out silly things to your friends who pass by the house.  No one ever complained or got mad at me.  They knew it was you who taught me.  I would sleep in another room and would wake up early in the morning, just like I did at my own house.  I would knock at your room and I would curl up beside you in bed, just like I did with papa.  And you would hold me close to you and let me sleep again, just like papa.  You held me and loved me like I was your own.

I remember when you would tease me about the nuns in my catholic school not wearing any underwear.  I was around ten then, and didn’t quite get the joke.  I laugh about that now.  And I wish you could tell that joke over and over again.  You were quite the jester, and a room is always brighter when you were around.  I remember when you would relive your exploits in your catholic high school, when you would jump over the fence and the priests caught you and you gave them a different name, so they went around the whole school looking for that student they caught and never realized it was you.  I remember you taught my kid sister the same trick to do because she went to that same school, which was funnier because she was just in grade school.

I remember you and papa would take me target shooting.  You both taught me about guns and how to shoot.  I never disappointed you there, and you were so proud of me hitting my targets like a pro.  I remember you taught me how to use the Batangueno knife, and the nunchucks.  I always tried to be less of a girl’s girl because you and papa were so much fun to be around.  I didn’t want you men to exclude me in your fun.  And you never did.

I remember you the day you found out some guy hit my bike on purpose to get attention as I was going around town.  I kept if from you but you found out anyway.  You were well connected like that.  And I remember sitting with you outside, wishing he wouldn’t pass by as I was almost sure you would teach him a lesson by beating him up.  Ever the protector, I knew you would easily kill for me.  You loved me that much.

You were so fun, so full of life and its goodness, so strong and happy, that when I saw you in that box, still and unmoving, I felt my gut being wrenched from my own body.  And it was a numbing pain that tore my mind and soul.  After you have been sick for some time, I knew deep in my heart that it would happen, but nothing could prepare me for that sight of you, motionless and lifeless.  I could have given up my own life just to see you grin at me again in your special way.  To do all the things you used to do, and to live to protect the people we both love.

But I knew you admired my strength.  I knew you wanted me to be strong that day we brought you to the hospital and you realized I was the only one brave enough to come to the ER with you.  I held your hand and joked with you when I was really so scared.  You must have known that, because when we were all up in the room you told them all I was the only brave person in the party to go inside the ER.  You were so proud of me, as you always were.  As I guess you forever will be.  Even if I screw up so badly, you will find your own reason to still believe in what I am and what I can do.  Because you love me.

During your funeral I was a mess, but I had to be strong for your mom, our beloved Mama Ding.  I passed by papa in the hallway and we looked at each other for a moment, and he and I both wavered for a moment.  I wanted so much to just run to him for comfort, but I knew he needed comforting himself, so I just nodded and made him believe I was fine.  Inside I was crying.  I would have bawled and cursed the heavens and just shot the people who were there to take you away, but I held on and stood strong because I knew that was what you would have wanted.  I should take care of the people who were not as strong as I was, the people who we both love and who were all in so much grief because we finally had to say goodbye to you.  So I told you silently that I loved you, said a prayer for you and kissed your casket goodbye like a good girl.  Inside I was dying.

And now that you’re not here anymore, I guess I should feel less protected.  But somehow I know you’re still looking out for me.  I know it’s cliche and you might be laughing your ass off right now at the mess I am again while writing this, but I find comfort in the fact that you can see me.  It means you’re still here, somehow, with me.  Sometimes when the tears come I can almost see you laughing at me because I am being such a sissy missing you like this.  Other times when I cry, I can picture you sitting there, and looking at me with all your love and understanding, because you miss me as much as I miss you.  And if you do, then you must feel all this hurt and pain and love that I have for you that will never go away.

Hold my hand and embrace me while I cry for all that I have lost when I lost you.  And then sit back and enjoy the view while I live the rest of my life fully, as I am sure you want me to.  And know I live it more happily because I have known you, because I was loved by you.

Wherever you are, I want you to know that you are remembered, you are missed, you are loved. Happy birthday.

It’s Complicated!

When do I decide to tell the truth if it means hurting someone I love?  How do I decide to completely detach myself from the kind of pain this act of “honesty” will cause him?  What makes me finally look a person in the eyes and say the kind of thing I know will break his heart to pieces?  And how can I sit across him and provide disillusionment about the trust he has given and then tell him I am here with him to the very end?  How do I convince him that his faith may be on an all time low right now, but somehow, he has to find enough strength to put some of that little faith he has left on me?  He has to.  He somehow just has to.

Little did I know I was the one whose faith needed a little reinforcing.  He just listened without prejudice and without judgment.  And he listened to all that I said and all that I felt.  God, I miss talking to him like that.  Talking to someone who  I know doesn’t care what all the others say.  One who will not try to look between the lines, but will find what needs to be found nonetheless.  He who had always only had to look at me and know that there is something brewing beneath the surface of the calm and aloof facade.  He who could read me like a worn book that he has read a thousand times over.

I looked at him, a foot away, and just wanted to hug him and say it will all be okay, but that was never our style.  Just a hug would have been more okay, I guess.  We never said ‘it will be ok’.  We both know it will be.  Guess we’re both just strong like that.  Months ago I wanted to be his rock, but what I was keeping made it impossible.  It would be unthinkable to be there, without him finding out why I wanted to be.  Because he can see right through me.  Always have, and always will.

I wish I could have just stood back and then hear from him that everything was over.  But I had to be there in the scene that would most break his heart.  Why, after all these years, should this scene be necessary?  I sat back as I listened to the things that proved the person an unworthy recipient of her once most coveted attention.  And I am glad it is over.  And if the truth is what cements that wall to keep him from being hurt by the same person again, I will gladly mix it, and then build it – tall and strong and imposing.  Because that’s the kind of friend I am.  It probably had to  be crow-barred from under me, but when he asked for it, there was nothing I wanted to do more than save him from a possible lifetime of bullshit.  Because he deserves better.

It’s amazing enough that I managed to hold back unkind thoughts in order to be supportive.  And it’s even more amazing that I was right all along.  I didn’t want to be right!  I hoped to God I was wrong and just being overly protective of someone who once had been my rock.  I wanted to be the friend who said “ok, do your thing, you’ll be fine”.  But God knows what happens in the back of this over active mind.

And God knows how hard it is keeping things from him.  Distance had finally become my friend.  But standing face to face with him just blows my cover.  Something like playing undercover detective with a hot pink feather boa around my neck.  If I think about it hard enough, I can roll over the floor just laughing.  Me, keep something from him?  Hilarious.  Freaking punch-me-on-the-stomach-and-then-kill-me-when-that’s-over hilarious.  The next time I want to keep a secret from him, I should just leave the country and live in a cave.  Since I am picky with food, I guess I’ll just opt for honesty instead.  There will only be truth between us.

And I know, somehow, that some shit will come to me after this.  In fact there were some that he told me about, of course from her thoughts.  And it’s not new shit.  We’ve dealt with this shit before.  It’s the least of its kind, and it’s the kind that’s now funny to us.  So laugh we did, and laugh we will.

It’s complicated.  Just like always.  And from us, I guess it’s nothing more or less than what is expected.  That’s our style.  Not that we asked for it.  For some reason, it just always happens that way.  We made “complicated” in style even before friendster thought of it as a fitting relationship status.  Not because it was that way for us, but because it was that way for many.  And God knows how much we think of what they think.  That just may be our most similar and proudest accomplishment together, I guess.  Just taking it all in and smiling like we know something they don’t about what’s really there.  Because we fucking do.  And if they don’t get it, then my God we will not try to explain.

I watched his heart breaking, but I looked into his eyes and saw that same old spark that has made him the man he is.  I watched him shout to the heavens and tell them through another man’s words how they should all go to hell because he will live, and he will live fully.  I watched him walk onstage ready for words that will, at least for some moments, take some of the pain away.

I watched as they all watched.  I saw him, just as the crowd saw him, but somehow I looked at him differently.  I know him too much to see the same thing they see.  I know him too much not to see what he doesn’t want them to see.

He’s not just standing there.

He’s still standing there, tall and proud and strong.

I was still sitting there, small and ever-present.

Against all odds.

Just like old times.

All haters be damned.

Flying Home

Of the last three times I came home to my hometown, two were due to the passing of very cherished family members.  They were dreaded trips of coming home to very sad circumstances of facing the loss of loved ones – my greatest fear come to life.

My latest trip home is one of great anticipation, however.  Because I now work at home I get to spend a long time with my family, for as long as I’m online I can practically do my job anywhere.

When this happens the journey home is usually taken for granted.  I take a taxi from my Manila apartment to the airport, then get through the baggage check ins, security measures, waiting in the boarding area, boarding the plane, having my usual coffee on board, and doing what I can to pass the 45 minute flight home.

This time, however, it was exciting.  Maybe because for the first time I was travelling with my mom and Don, or maybe because I was looking forward to over a month of holiday vacation spent in my own childhood memory lane.  It also helped that on board that flight last Sunday, I sat and saw the most beautiful of sunrises I have ever seen while on a plane.  See for yourself below and get a little of the beauty I saw while waiting to see more beauty as our plane touched down the Roxas City runway.

And what better way to top it off but with a beachside dinner at my childhood favorite Marc’s Beach Resort, eating my most missed food of all while in Manila: their incomparable pork barbeque and fried rice with fried liver!  And yes, those are waves crashing on the shore that you can see near the horizon… a perfect sunset to match that perfect sunrise.  What better ways to view them but on a plane and then at the beach?  My life is so precious right now, I am humbled.

This could be my best Christmas yet. 

2

You found me.

And you made me believe.

I was content to cajole, to sneer, when faced with things I felt were so hard to believe in.  I like you, I like being with you.  I am  happy when we’re together.  They were all just lines for a fool when you came along.  I’ve heard them thrown at me so many times, and so carelessly, they had come to mean nothing.  At best, they were considered mere efforts to get to somewhere they want to be.  Words that were always met with a suspicious glance and a cautious stare.  And with good reason too.

I was satisfied with the way things were going, until you came tumbling down the straight path I was trying to walk.  It was a familiar path, safe and sure, one that wouldn’t lead to hurt and anger yet again.  Meaningless and worthless, but also without the risks of endangering the heart.  Sometimes one just tires of the cycle.  Giving another a chance and waking up one morning to have that privilege thrown back at you, only because you gave it so freely and readily.  The workings of another’s minds one can always wish to read, but can never force to understand.

I had planned on staying on the course to freedom from pain at last, and you became my crossroad.  You were a surprising bend in the road that was inevitable but very avoidable.  Until now I don’t know why I chose to take that road to you.  Until now I don’t know what I did right to have been given that chance to choose again, when I clearly made it clear I will have nothing down that path for a long time.  It does work in mysterious ways, doesn’t it?

And just when I thought I was safe from all the pain, I found myself clinging to the thought that maybe, just maybe, it will be different this time.

I found I still had hope locked up in the very depths of my soul, if I just found enough strength to look.  I found I still had an urge to love and be loved, even after all the time I had denied the opportunity for fear of getting lost in the pain all over again.  I  found I had enough strength to move on.

I found all the things I thought I had lost along the bumpy way.  It wasn’t easy, but I am stronger for it somehow.  It wasn’t an ideal one, but I here I am still standing.  I found I had enough optimism to wish there might be a brighter future laying ahead.

I found I had a need to care for someone again, and be cared for.

I found someone to love and be loved by.

I found you.

And never had I discovered such a treasure until you.

1

You’ve ruined my life.

You strolled in, fast and sure, burning the bridges behind you, breaking down walls in front of you, and stood your ground strong, huge and looming, until I relented to let you stay…

Just a little bit, I thought.

Not forever.

Forever?  I had smirked at that word for so long, it was as much a fantasy in my mind then as a doomed frog prince fairy tale.  One which only the naive and young and witless can conjure out of their innocent and ignorant minds.  They have never been to hell and back with a heartache.  I’ve been there.  I was mayor of that area for sometime, and was pretty good at it too.  So excuse me for not being so open and welcoming, but I’ve always fancied myself clever, as I learn fast and well.

Which is exactly why I felt just a tad stupid when you held on longer than I imagined.  But you were fun to be around, even when you weren’t really there.  Of course, those should be the times when I would go back to early girlie daydreaming instead of doing the honest, fair and unbiased analysis of the true facts, as the scientist in me should have done.

But no, the dreamer had to set in, years after I thought it had long gone.  For how many times was I yet to lose, before I could finally win?  I had settled for being okay the way I was.  Not blissfully happy, but not hurting either.  I was okay.  How are you?  “I’m okay.”  There’s an honest reply.  No hassles, no frills, no complications.

I had built a fortress around my heart, how did you even get through that?  I had built it so strong, some had called me the ice queen.  I could have passed for a man if they would only look through the female exterior into what’s inside.  I was jaded and hardened.

I would smile at silly passes when I like the man making them.  I would be so cruel as to laugh to their faces when I feel so insulted as to have been made a recipient of a super stupid one.  Silly is one thing, but moronic lines make me lose my temper and insult my intelligence.  And neither drinks nor cigarettes in a bar can placate that.

Yet you stood there and said nothing, and slowly the ice around my heart began to melt.  Silly lines and stupid passes I can take, but not forebearing and honest silence.  It was as foreign to me then as a good man.  And you were that and more.  And still are.  And if God can  bless me more than  he has, and the world too, you will be for always.

You broke down my walls and braved through the thunderstorm that is my disposition.  You chipped off every bit of ice around my heart so I could feel you, walking unwaveringly certain through the mist and rain.  At no time at all I was dancing over rainbows and wishing on falling stars, and singing happy tunes and dancing to the rhythm of the beat of my heart.  I lived, fully again, because you made me want to.

You ruined my life and kept me from falling head first and heartlessly into a safe but worthless oblivion.

You ruined my life and gave me one that was worth living.

You ruined my life, and gave it back to me.  With all the broken pieces healed completely.  As I had needed, and never thought I wanted.

You ruined my life and saved me.

Puerto Galera Weekend Beach Getaway

Don and I so deserved a vacation, as we have been planning to have one for so long but could never get the time to do it.  So here’s what we did last weekend when we whisked ourselves off to Puerto Galera.

This December when we go home to Roxas City, we plan another few days of getaway to Boracay.

Ah, to be in paradise…Life is beautiful!

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas in Manila

The Robinson's Manila Tree: Standing 3 stories tall, it's just a medium sized tree in Manila mall standards.

At a time when people never stop clamoring about being broke, we sure do know how to party!

Merry Christmas Pinas!

Best Kiss: Timothy Olyphant and Jennifer Garner

Here’s the shove-me-against-the-wall-and-kiss-me-like-I’ve-never-been-kissed-before part in Catch and Release starring my future bf Timothy Olyphant and the beautiful Jennifer Garner.

Oh God help me!  This should have totally won that year in the MTV Movie Awards for Best Kiss!  Maybe it didn’t because it wasn’t me he was kissing…hmmm…yeah, that’s totally the reason why it didn’t.

Tim Olyphant Is My Man!!!

Here’s a clip of Timothy Olyphant (mah man!!!) prmoting Catch and Release on ESPN (I know this was ages ago, but he’s soooo cute here).  Apparently he’s a big NBA fan and even participates daily in a morning show in an LA radio station.  Now if only I could find a way to listen to that everyday…hmmm…

Tim, if you’re reading this (I don’t care how the hell that’s going to  happen), but please…CALL ME!!!

Why do I love him so much?  In Ilonggo: Daw hasu!!! Magngirit ngirit daw kanami gd kwanon…hihihihi

Don: “Karat ka bala ga”

Thea: “I know, thanks ga.”

The Saga Of The Box Escape Inmate: Now you see him, now you don’t

This news article in Yahoo (Skynews) caught my attention, read on…

Hunt Widens For Box Escape Inmate

The hunt is widening for a convicted drug dealer who escaped from prison in Germany in a cardboard box.

German police say they are planning to issue an international arrest warrant unless he is found soon.

The 37-year-old Turkish national hid in a cardboard box that was later taken away for recycling by a courier firm.

The inmate was serving a seven-year sentence in Willich prison, near the town of Dusseldorf, and was due out in 2011.

A police spokesman said: “Shortly after the truck that he was riding in got beyond prison walls, he slit open the box and then cut open the truck’s tarpaulin to escape.

“I’ve never seen anything like this.”

Police have been searching in vain for the fugitive since last week, he said.

The escape happened after the prisoner ended a shift where he was making stationery.

Instead of joining his jailmates, he climbed into the box which was then taken away along with a number of other boxes by the courier firm.

Soon after leaving the grounds, the prisoner cut a hole in the tarpaulin of the lorry and made his getaway.

His escape was only spotted after the truck driver noticed the slash in the tarpaulin – he immediately alerted the prison authorities.

After reading this I only had one thought:  How very Snake in Metal Gear!  This prisoner is a gamer!!!

Snake hides from sentries in cardboard box

Source: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20081120/twl-rapping-gunman-confessed-on-song-3fd0ae9.html

Image Source: http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/26/10207-cardboardbox_large.jpg

Double Oh Seven!

So I hadn’t slept for more than 24 hours now, because instead of sleeping earlier this afternoon, I actually went to SM to watch Quantum of Solace with Don.

It was good, actually.  I didn’t expect it to be.  Not since Pierce Brosnan stopped starring in 007 movies.  I admit, it might sound a little fanatic, but honestly, I’m not a Pierce Brosnan fan.  Maybe it’s just that in my generation, I got so used to seeing him as Bond, James Bond.  So when they moved Daniel Craig into the role, I got a little shaken, not stirred.  Ok, sorry, I really just had to say that.

So back to the movie.  The opening cinematic was really good, you know when they show you an opening scene before the MTV with guns featuring the theme song of the movie (which Alicia Keys did a great job of by the way).  It was a car chase, Bond in a sleek black Alpha Romeo against the antagonists and the local Italian police.  At one point they go into this dirt road, and man!  Does Bond know how to drift!

The girl was hot, Olga something… (but her character in Max Payne was soooo much hotter!).  Long, lean body and that sinfully beautiful face!  Very Bond girl indeed.

I was on the edge of my seat on some scenes, there was even a couple of times I checked myself before I could scream.  The bad thing is now, just a few hours after watching it, I can’t remember when exactly these times were.  And I can’t even remember the story.  It was a little too complicated, as unlike the former James Bond series with Brosnan, I think they mean for these new ones’ stories to interlace.  Like in Solace today Bond was still a lot emotional from the death of Vesper Lynd in Casino Royale (the girl whom he almost married and gave up his double 0 status for).  He still couldn’t accept the fact that she double crossed him and then died trying to save him.  Shucks.  Bond is human after all.

If I remember correctly, all of the Bond films I saw before Daniel Craig’s series all just stood up alone, not along with one another.  So there is no pressure to remember things like “who’s that guy again?” or “what did he do in the last part?” or “why did that girl in the last movie die?” or  “Why does he feel so guilty?”  Ok so I guess I’m just not a hardcore James Bond fan, as I’m sure they could all recite the plots and characters in a heartbeat.

A lot of government spies are also involved in this one from several different countries, as well as other organizations, and of course they all wanna kill one another.  Bond fights, shoots, drives like a maniac, has sex with a girl (in fairness just one in this movie ha), argues with M, and….wait!  No appearance from Q!  I miss Q.  The best part in this movie for me was that the hand to hand combat looked real!!!  The sound effects helped a lot too.  Like when the boys were kicking one another’s butts I could hear the punches connecting, I could see their heads snapping backwards at contact, and I could almost feel the impact.  I was grimacing in most parts I guess.

So anyway the movie was good for me, but it wasn’t great, you know?  Well maybe you will know when you watch it yourself.  Go ahead, I’d recommend it.  In fact I just called my dad and told him to.

Addictive As Hell

Take a peek into part of my closet.

Tablet PC Input Panel

A screen capture while I was writing this post (literally), before editing

I wanted to just lie down and sleep, I was too lazy to sit up in bed and write a post today.

Then remembered the tablet PC Input feature of this device, and my world will never be the same…

l am just so Lazy!

It recognizes even the ugliest handwriting. which mine is here.

On paper, might I say so myself, it is beautiful.

Jennifer’s Twins Dream, Pink’s Lesbo Fantasy, Angie’s Oscar To Be, Madonna’s President, and Gwyneth’s Fashion Miss

Let’s take a break from politics one minute and see what our favorite and not so favorite stars are up to.

Let’s start with our favorite FRIEND Jennifer Aniston, whose new movie Marley and Me with Owen Wilson is about to open soon.  There are news that she wants twins with John Mayer, and I say this is bull!  Just because Brangelina spawned twins doesn’t mean she wants them too.  And with John Mayer?  Really?

Speaking of Ms. Jolie, the non-Mrs. Pitt, her newly released movie The Changeling has been getting good reviews.  Another Oscar perhaps?  Maybe she deserves it after the ugly outfits she had to wear for that movie.  Although, she did get to work with Dirty Harry, so that may have compensated for the wardrobe.

The singer Pink also just made news after stating she would like to kiss the world famous lips of Angelina Jolie.  I don’t know what the hell she was thinking, but I’d personally rather kiss Brad.  But me thinks Pink prefers another Madonna-Britney moment, because of course that would create more stir in the media.

And how can we not mention the Material Girl?  She was in a concert recently when Barack Obama got declared as President elect, and she announced to the audience:  “This is a historical evening.  This is a motherfucking important evening!” she told a crowd of 40,000.  How’s that for freedom of speech?

And lastly, before I go for a nap, let’s talk about the news-making dress of Madonna’s BFF Gwyneth Paltrow.  She just wore a see-through, leave little to the imagination dress to a premiere in Paris, and it’s causing quite a stir in celebrityworld.  I hate the shoes she wore them with though.  Not sexy.  Not stylish.  Not elegant whatsoever, just plain ugly (I don’t care if it’s priced like my whole college education).  How can this happen after that Iron Man Premieres Parade of the most lovely outfits?!  They were much more elegant and were paired with the most beautiful shoes!  Pics of the above-mentioned outfits below.

That’s it for today in Hollywood, where I’m not at.  Good night!

Gwyneth's see-through number in Paris- not hot.

Gwyneth's series of outfits for the Iron Man premieres all over the world - Love them all except the one in the middle.

How The US President Elect Will Affect My Life

An open letter to the new US president:

How much will your presidency affect me?  Let me count the ways…

…You will decide on international relationships, so whether I will or will not get a tourist visa to visit my friends/relatives in the US, only you know.

…Your wife’s outfits will interest me whenever I see her on TV.

…You will now take command of my boyfriend’s dream ride: AirForce 1. (He’s an aircraft mechanic, and it’s a guy thing)

…You are the commander-in-chief of perhaps the world’s most elite,  most respected, most complicated and technologically advanced fighting machines, so I will cower a little when you are mad at my country.  Maybe a lot, depending on how our beloved politicians screw up over here.

…Your decisions will ultimately affect most economic fluctuations, so it will also determine my need or compulsion to shop.

I’m sure there are a lot more, and I can’t think of them all right now.  If you need to know more, just contact me and I’ll call you at the White House.  Just leave me your extension number. 

Kudos Mr. President, yes you did!!!

My Friend Warner, The Beast

So I’m talking to my friend Warner, and he is a little disappointed that I don’t share my sex life in this blog.  So I asked him for HIS exploits, and he so generously provided me the juicy details and recounted his day-to-day sex diary!

Here we go, straight from the horse’s mouth (you will see why I said that in a minute)…

Monday – Tried to copulate with a cockroach, but I realized 2 billion years of evolution won’t let me.  (2 billion years of evolution and he just realized it now…how sad…)

Tuesday – Due to frustrations, goats and sheep suddenly made me fetish…only to realize they are more  satisfying being cooked..yum yum (How’s that for oral sex?)
Wednesday - Elephants seem to be the rage the moment I woke up…but then realized they needed “gifted” individuals.  (I think I know someone who knows someone who once screwed an elephant)

Thu to Sun – Very Low Libido due to over-exertion the first three days.  (Meaning NO SEX LIFE AT ALL?!)

So there we go…over 23 years of friendship down the drain because of the words you just read.  Kidding!  I wouldn’t trade my friends for anything, they’re weird and funny and scientific and horny — all the things I am!

My Obama Theory of Relativity

I think I may be related to Barack Obama.

My last name, Obamos, just might be the plural version of his.  I know most surnames sometimes have different versions due too misspelling, misunderstanding, and other reasons which sometimes divide related people.

This just might be my chance to work at the White House.  Or maybe I can stay there as a guest and just do whatever the hell I want, as long as my Uncle Barack approves!  heeheehee

Good morning, America!  Your future starts here!!!

Working From Home Downside

Sitting here sipping my coffee while I start another day at work, I just thought of a downside to working at home:  You can’t call in sick!

Of course you can always beg off working today because you don’t feel well, but what would that say about you?  Unless your appendix suddenly burst or you sound as bad as you feel, it really makes no sense to say you can’t work. After all, you can work in bed.  Duh.

Of Mr. Rights and Broken Hearts

Vonda Shepard said it best in her song for Ally McBeal years ago: Baby don’t you break my heart slow.

On the onset of attraction, a man is like a tiger ready to pounce on its prey, his strides firm and certain, eyes like magnets drawn to you, and you feel like you are the one most beautiful woman in the room…hell, make that the world!  He walks on to your direction, straight to exactly where you are, and all the other females in the room sigh in envy. While he is looking at you like that, it’s not hard to understand why.

A few weeks after, after making your cellphone network rich with all those text messages and talk time you spent on, spending time smiling at him with a heart in each of your eyes (think Cartoon Network), sharing some sweet, sometimes lusty kisses, he is nowhere to be found.  And so you ask yourself the inevitable question most females ask themselves at some point in their lives: “What the fuck happened?!”  And then, because banging your head on the wall just hurts too damn much, you decide to just smack yourself on the forehead instead. You may well be on your road to self destruction, without the Mission Impossible effects.

The worst part of it all is when they decide to let you know by NOT LETTING YOU KNOW!  Meaning they just disappear.  No calls, no messages, no talks, zero, nada, nothing, zilch!  And you stare with disbelief at yourself and wonder what is wrong with you…Nothing, girl! He just inevitably chickened out and found the easiest and fastest way out: To fly like a bubble carried by the wind, too far for you to reach, and just disappear into nothingness, out of your arms, our of your grasp, out of your life.

The son of a bitch didn’t even think you were worth saying goodbye to.  He was fucked up, and now you are, too.  Just when you finally feel you are both fucked up and so meant to be together, he is gone.

Why couldn’t they just say goodbye?  What would it take to call, even meet up, and maybe tell you straight to your face “It’s not working, I gotta go, I wanna see other people, the sex isn’t that good anymore.” or whatever the hell it is they say nowadays?  You were worth wasting saliva on when you were kissing, what difference will a few good riddance words make now?  He just packed up and left like the past days meant nothing to him.  Well girls, I hate to break it to you, but they probably meant just that: nothing.  I know it hurts to realize that, but that’s just how some people’s minds work.  Enjoy the ride while you can, and then get out and move on.  There must be some other nice babies out there they can ride (all pun intended).  Sucks huh?

What a mess.  You thought he was the one!  We all do, dahlings!  And we kill ourselves with disappointment everytime he doesn’t turn out to be.  Well, it takes some time and a lot of practice, but after a few cycles of this, one day I just decided to enjoy the process!  Why not do the same?!

Picture this: You are at the prime of your life, with a nice job earning you enough money to buy those ridiculously high heels that make your back straighter and your walk a little sexier.  You are independent, living away from your parents and can go home anytime you want, no need to answer any probing questions.  You have mostly single girlfriends, all in the prowl for the man of their dreams!  So why don’t you all just enjoy life, go around the city and enjoy one another, and sometimes squint at the sides to maybe find some cute guy who might be the one?  Date around, get to know people and maybe one of them is the one!  Guys do it all the time, why not us?  That was one of the best parts of my life, and it could be yours too!

Sometimes not looking is the way to find something.  Sometimes when you just leave things be, they have a way of coming around to your best advantage and realize your wildest imaginings.  Sometimes you wish for a common guy next door, with a nice stable job, good manners, a functional brain, an okay sense of humor, and it couldn’t hurt it he’s not bad to look at…then one day Mr. Perfect who wants a commitment just pops into your doorstep and tells you he wants…scratch that…he NEEDS to be in your life.

And you begin a whole new journey with him, and he might be the one…

If not, who cares?  Get up and move on.  After all, this world is too big to hold just one Mr. Right!

Clinton Campaigns for Obama

Former US President Bill Clinton made a speech today in Pennsylvania while campaigning for Barack Obama.

I’m not really into politics, so most of the time I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about except the basic things like benefits and taxpaying, but there was something he said that I really loved.

He was talking about the current economy crisis and how America is in trouble regarding jobs and household income with regard to taxpaying.  He goes “Look, I don’t hate rich people…I’m one of them!”

This is one of the most honest statements I’ve ever heard a politician say.  Especially someone in the campaign trail.  Way to go Mr. Clinton, you and CNN made my day!